~Jennifer

Mufreesboro, Tennessee

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I graduated from nursing school in 1998 at the age of 24.  I was married with 2 small children who were 5 and 2 when I graduated.  I really did not have any additional family or a support system.  My mother had raised me as a single mother.  She had some undiagnosed mental health issues and had alienated us from any family or friends several states away. I received a GED at the age of 17 and started college classes With the help of pell grants.   I married at 18 and quickly had children. Of course being married, we did not qualify for pell grants.  If i wanted to go to nursing school i would need to take out loans.   Initially I took evening classes for my prerequisites so my debt burden would be minimal.   Once I was accepted into the nursing program that would be more expense plus it would require me utilizing a day care for my children.  I negotiated prices with the daycare agreeing to pay them a semester at a time up front for a reduced rate.   I took out only the loans i needed for school costs plus day care. When i graduated i was in debt for about 22,000 in loans.   

My ex-husband decided he wanted to take classes at a community college at the same time.  I knew he took out a small loan for a few classes but had no idea he had borrowed the max amount of loan and was taking part time classes.     He was taking out loans to buy hunting/fishing equipment and who knows what else.   I found out much much too late he had borrowed around 25,000 in loans.  

Honestly, my ex-husband was an alcoholic and had issues with drug abuse.   The drugs he hid from him. His alcoholic abuse did not seem to jeopardize his job.  He also had a problem with domestic violence.    By the time i had graduated from nursing school there had already been 2 orders of protection taken out against him.    I had nobody in this world besides him and my children.  
After the second order of protection, my plan was to leave him.   I had started attending a  very conservative church who counseled me that divorce was a sin, the man was the head of the house, the failures of my marriage must be due to me not submitting to my husband as the authority of my house hold blah blah blah.   That point of view coupled with not wanting to fail my children with coming from a broken home, I came to the conclusion that my marriage would last forever.   

The loan payments for both of our loans was high.  I cant recall the amounts but it was pretty high.  As a new grad nurse in 1998 my starting pay was around 13.00/hr.   We had struggled with money for years trying to get through school.    I called my loan company at the time and talked to them about options for payments one day.  The person i spoke with suggested a spousal student loan consolidation.   Somehow i was able to get an idea of  the payments which made them way more manageable.  In April of 2000, we consolidated our loans for a balance of approximately 44,000k.

As time went on, the drugs and drinking became worse.   The abuse became more severe.  I was beaten, had a gun pulled on me, was spat on, but the verbal abuse was the worst of all.  The final straw was the abuse was affecting my children.  In 2003, I received counseling from the YWCA as well as a private counselor provided to me through the YWCA.   I finally found the strength to file for divorce in April of 2003 immediately after receiving an ex-parte order of protection.   

Our divorce stated that we were responsible for our own loans as individuals.   No amounts were listed.  The loan company obviously would not separate those.   That left me vulnerable and still dependent on my abuser to be responsible and pay his debt.   

My payments were around 400/month in the beginning of my single mom years.  I told my ex-husband if he would pay 200 id pay 200 and we would make the payment.   The loan company did not want partial payments so i would call my ex and tell him it was time to make the payment. Either he would not pay, put me off, spout of abusive statements, insist that the debt was all mine or make me show up to his work on a set pay day only to tell me id have to come back another day he didn’t have the extra to pay that day.  Very rarely he would hand me a payment.      I got behind in those loans a couple times and had them caught up with deferments.   This has continued since 2003 and it is now 2022.  

I always knew i would have to legally pursue this debt issue with my ex-husband.   My focus was on raising my daughters.   I needed to make sure they were successful through high school.  I worked overtime to help pay my youngest daughter’s college tuition while she lives at home.  After college she was married and that was when i decided to pursue the legal option.  At that time my ex-husband quit his job and works a little here and there under the table.  He receives a small pension from the grocery store he worked for.  He blatantly told me he was never paying me anything.   Even though i have consistently laid a 400-500 payment alone since 2003 the balance has grown due to interest to 52,000.   

I filed the lawsuit in June 2019.   My attorney abruptly left the firm this past November and abandoned my case after stalling on his end.  I found this out mid January when I emailed him for an update and received a reply from another young attorney.      A senior attorney is supposedly stepping out of retirement and setting a court date for us.   I am waiting to hear.  

My ex-husband hired an attorney that has ties to domestic violence organizations.  Her play book consists of just asking a question and waiting for my young attorney to get around to responding.   In August my ex-husband forged a note and my signature stating that he was current on loans.   His attorney sent to my attorney who sent it to me in October.  In October, there was a status hearing to set a court date.  His attorney told the judge she was going to tell her client he needed to hire a handwriting expert.    There was to be another status hearing in December.   It is now February and nothing has happened.  No handwriting expert.  No court date.  

The bottom line, is this spousal consolidation has kept me bound to my abuser.  These loans have continued to be an avenue in which my abuser continues to intimidate and abuse me.   The government has allowed this with no solutions.   They have forgotten me.

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